And it's like a thousand fires went out all at once.

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Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You 

will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand

against the wrath of mine enemies, and Your right hand 

will save me. The LORD will perfect that which concerns me.

-Psalm 138:7-8

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It's storming again and the gray clouds are leaving me with a heavy weight on my heart. The swords are drawn and the battle is on but this day my shield seems to weigh a hundred pounds and I can't lift it past a couple inches off the ground. And it's like a thousand fires went out all at once and the smoke is spiraling up into the heavens and I'm left stranded in this forest. While the world around me hasn't changed or lost any of its brilliance I suddenly feel dull, rusty, and infinitely tired. And it is not like I can't see the colors anymore or that all the small sparks and embers have been extinguished from my soul, but more that a deep gray has settled in... like a mist. The thunder and lightning could very well be my heart with its wild exclamations and poundings of fear, and the raindrops are just tears that never made it to my eyes and are now making their escape. But I hold fast to the promise that this too shall pass, and that someday I will look back and wonder how something so small could take up such a big place in my heart. And even with this pouring rain that is coming down in sheets and running down in patterns across the windows, I suddenly don't feel so alone anymore. It's not my strength that is going to win this anyway; it's His. I can't lift that sword and fight off my enemies but He can, and as the thunder rumbles in the distance and bellows after a lightning strike, I am beginning to find my way back to that safe tower. I know He'll be waiting for me when I get there.

 xx. Amy