the end.

I hate goodbyes. The burning of the eyes, the aching of the heart, the laying awake late at night, the waving of the hands, and the farewell hugs are the last thing on my list. It's not that I will never see those people again or visit those places, and yet to me, that isn't the only thing that makes the chasm in my heart seem so much wider when I am whispering that dreaded word, goodbye. To me, missing someone isn't only about them, it's about all the times we had together. It's about the laughter and doubling over with tears in your eyes as your mouth turns up into a wide smile. It's about the early evenings and walking down the road and trying out dance moves and losing your cell phone. It's about watching movies and going on roller coasters until your stomach protested; it's about meeting new people and writing stories together. It's about memories and realizing that they will never be re-lived: that you can never go back. I just hate the ending of something. Even when I am writing, I find a measure of relief to write the words the end and yet my heart aches just a bit at the last page... the final words are always the hardest. And yet life comes and goes, months go by and days welcome us with open arms. July 2013 is forever gone and yet who is to say August won't be the best month of my life? Because these last couple weeks were absolutely amazing and I won't ever forget them even if the memories do sting just a bit and fill my eyes with tears, but they are good tears because their essence is sadness and a deep gratefulness that I have something so special to make saying goodbye so hard. I was talking about this with a dear friend, and her words have been swirling around in my brain like a soft summer breeze:

 But if things didn't end, than nothing would ever be started; 

nor would we ever have our fill of fond memories to make the past so sweet.

 
So I am going to write the words that make me tremble:

The End.

And yet this is only the beginning, so here's to the future and to August. To the memories that still await us and yes, to the goodbyes. There is something beautiful on the horizon, I just know it, and yet pain is just an equal factor of joy and so we will bravely expect it and face it. And like the good Doctor once said:

The way I see it, every life is a pile of

good things and... bad things. 

 The good things don't always soften the bad things, 

but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily 

spoil the good things or make them unimportant.

check out this snail mail project, and be looking forward to a giveaway here shortly.

yours truly,

Amy.

Hot Air Balloon // Owl City