A letter v.2

 

Dear Friend,

I know the future is scaring you right now,

and that the hidden path on which we must walk seems too elusive.

It's really just like a cliff that we are expected to walk off. You say.

How are we supposed to jump, risk everything and lose total control?

And every time we talk, you tell me about your upcoming tests,

about your college plans.

How you are frightened to death about leaving.

And yet maybe that isn't what is scaring you? 

Because I know you:

You are brave and posses a unique amount of courage,

and you have never backed down from a challenge.

I can still see that freckled smile on your face when we

went to the theme park together and you didn't hold

on once at the largest roller coaster;

you just threw your hands up in the air and shrieked

with a half laugh and a half wind-blown scream 

as we made double loops and stared at the ground as we 

were held upside down.

So you don't have to be afraid, and if I know

you, fear isn't a big part of your vocabulary.

And yet you whisper to me as

we watch the stars that you are afraid.

Are you afraid of leaving

or simply afraid that everything will change?

That you will come back and nothing will be the same?

That the people you love the most will disappear?

That they won't have the same place in your heart,

or vice versa?

You say you feel like the wind in a canyon, or tender eggshells.

You say you feel just as lost as you would

 if you misplaced your second shoestring.

And just like a bird beating against a wall

of wind you say it is impossible.

But is it?

What if you realized that things will change, even if you don't leave? 

That we can't be sure what the future holds even if

we watch every moment and hold tight to the present with both fists?

I know the future seems so big right now.

I know it's overwhelming and

college is a big deal

and leaving is even bigger,

but what if there is Someone who is even greater?

I watched your eyes get large last night,

their green depths filling with tears

as you told me that it would break your heart if everything changed.

That you couldn't lose what you had right now.

And dear friend,

you don't have to.

Tomorrow,

next month,

next year

  future tests,

up coming recitals

are something to be thought about, yes.

But they shouldn't take over right now.

Because all the beauty in today will disappear

and all the memories will fade away into nothingness.

Because what you don't capture you won't remember.

And isn't it worse to waste the time we have right now 

with worries of tomorrow that we can't change?

Isn't it this moment that counts? 

So would you do something for me? 

Take out your favorite notebook,

maybe the pink sparkly one or the leather bound one

with the owl engraving, and write down

some of your favorite moments from today.

Capture every smile, every laugh.

Remember every tear and then

record some of the things that matter most to you.

The people that have changed your life

and who continue to impact you on such a large scale;

write a memoir or simply describe their personality in the best way you can.

And just breathe. 

Inhale through your nose,

exhale through your mouth.

And just let all the worries go.

They'll come after you at night,

and hide under your bed, especially fear,

but simply close your eyes and remember that you are

held in strong, loving, capable hands that won't let you go.

Your future is safe.

Things might change, in fact, they will

because nothing ever stays the same... except His love,

but if you cherish these moments,

if you live today to its full potential then you will

have more than a lot to look back on.

And memories are the best thing.

And your friends?

A couple years won't make a big difference to the ones that are meant to be.

You'll come back,

they will have changed

and so will you, 

but I think after a couple minutes of talking 

and exchanging hugs you will be talking just like you used to.

I know you're afraid.

But what if you ran straight into His open arms?

He says to be still and know that I am God,

and how long has it been since you have sat outside

or in your favorite chair and contemplated how good God is?  

He's got you and your future securely held.

you are held. 

and if this helps at all,

I just want you to know that when you come

back (because I know you will find the courage to go)

I will be waiting here just like I used to.

And when you drive up I'll wave like a crazy-person,

and be the first to give you a giant bear hug.

You'll be missed.

Come back soon, okay?

-Your friend.

p.s This just might be a letter to myself and all the fears that rage on in this heart, but it is also for those who are facing any kind of change in their lives. To those who feel facing the future is an impossible thing. This letter is for you.