//here I am//

I have written and re-written posts; I have started and never finished others and somehow I haven't had the courage or completeness to click the publish button.  I did not want to cross the line between keeping people up-to-date and turning my blog into a dumping ground. And so I struggled at the line, carefully looking to the other side.
And yet I just realized that I am a writer. I diagnose everything from feelings to physical pain and I read between the lines in people's faces sometimes getting it right and other times... well, who knows.
I strive and struggle to know my own heart and yet do we ever fully understand that part of us? I write about life and the war that surrounds us. I write about the beauty of love and the power of forgiveness. I write about things I see and things I wish I saw; about the people I meet and the person I strive to become. I write about tears and each story I have ever written, right down to the first novel I ever wrote, had a part of my heart in it. And I am beginning to see that it is okay. That I don't have to be afraid of what people will think or whether what I write will be received or not. That I don't have to be frightened and always tense looking out for mistakes because all I can do is my best and Jesus will do the rest... not to mention that we all make mistakes. We are all on this journey together and none of us have arrived. mental note to self: Rely on His strength, Amy, not your own. And don't ever, ever judge.
And I know I don't write anything of consequence unless God chooses to use it to touch that one soul, and so I will keep writing from my heart. The struggles, the fears and the journey He has put me on. And I will keep praying and hoping that what I write will reach those hearts.. those crying, broken hearts.

Here I am,

Use me.