This is when we stand.

"I don't know how to answer. I know what I think,

but voices in the head are like voices underwater.

They are distorted." 

I cannot describe the colors of loneliness or the way the heart beats with words that we have never spoken, but I can tell you that they are shades of gray colored with deep breaths that hurt like breathing in water. The sadness has a way of hanging around, like a stubborn cold, and in the winter months when words seem to disappear all together, goodbyes feel like an eternity. Things don't go as planned, the tide changes when we were counting on it to stay the same forever, windows shatter all around us and lights go out, lights that kept a part of us alive. {I don't understand, but that is okay. I will always miss you} And I cannot describe the heaviness of watching everyone go by and knowing you were the one they did not want. I cannot say how staring at an eagle soaring through ashen skies can make the heart long for that kind of freedom, but sometimes freedom begins with forgiving + letting go. And in the midst of finding our way, fires will be started in this downpour, lights will go on in places we were not looking, hearts will find their way home, and joy will be an everlasting companion. Our story will become another one's hope, our life will be a fire that can never die because it will stand for Love and Truth, and this gray will turn into a window pointing straight to Jesus. 

And I don't know what to say, except maybe we were created for times like these. This is when we stand.