lionhearted

"Love is what carries you, for it is always there,

even in the dark, or most in the dark,

but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery." -Wendell Berry

Sometimes I think it is not about figuring it all out, or knowing where we are headed. Maybe it is not about being able to put two thoughts together, but about having nothing to say at all. All I know is that sometimes when there are no words, when journal pages stay painfully empty, and even in the chorus of laughter when our throats stay tight and we can't sing, that is when God's thoughts can be heard the loudest. Yet sometimes we are so busy trying to find our voices again that we forget to listen to His. And maybe it is not about understanding where everyone stands or figuring out the ones who will never leave and the ones who already have, but rejoicing in the moment. Because I know how those storms can sweep us off course, how one day we can wake up and find ourselves so far from home. But there are always lights, hearts beating in the dark, shining a path for us and guiding us back, offering a helping hand. And today, as the snow is continuing to melt and the ice doesn't look so much like ice anymore, I keep thinking about that River of Love, that Lamb of God that gave His life for mine so that I could live, and I find tears filling my eyes again. Because I get so busy with over-analyzing, pleading with God to show me what to do and how to react to people that I don't understand, when the answer is so simple. Love. Forget about my life for a moment and talk to that lonely girl at school that always sits in the corner, give a hug to the person that doesn't treat me right, keeping loving that girl that keeps walking away. Love. Laying aside our grudges, our confusion, our pain and aching hearts, and letting our stories become stories of redemption and grace. Maybe it is not about understanding at all, but loving anyway. Maybe it is not about knowing why and how, but letting go because these thoughts are heavy. Maybe it is just about the gold stitches, about the lights guiding us home, about those who love us and the ones we will always love. Maybe the rest just needs to be set aside, forgotten? no, but laid to rest.

xx. Amy Jane

I just want to tell you guys how overwhelmed I am at all your love and support. 

All the kind words, the messages, the hugs and friendship mean so very much to me,
and just know that you helped me get through some long and difficult couple days.

 I just feel so blessed to know all of you.

thank you a million times over.