It's funny how it works... you can walk out one door only to walk through another. You can say goodbye and mumble greetings in the same breath, but every ending is only a new beginning. And it's something when you try not to think about where you've gone and where you're headed and you try to forget every smile or laugh shared but I think a part of me will always recollect. I think a corner of my heart will always remember the way it feels to hold your hand and smile through the hard times as we looked for the Light that is so much bigger than us. But for now, because the memories are still so fresh and fragile, (like the morning dew on the grass) you will focus (or try to) on the life you are living right now. Not the day dreams, not the fantasizing or memory replaying, but the day-to-day living and you will bury yourself in your work... and I think it's okay to cry sometimes. Because this constant saying of goodbyes can be tiring at best, but it's the arrivals, the new acquaintances that really scratch the surface the most. And you know why? They make me think of you, and I can't help but feel that you + me should be standing on the front porch together and having one of our talks, but instead we're saying goodbye. And I'm still trying to push back the tears and swallow the lump in my throat because this is another farewell... and you know I don't like goodbyes.
_____________________
I don't know what prompted me to write this.
But my heart is so full of farewells, and arrivals,
and wanting to be with the person that makes my life
so much brighter. And I think the thoughts got tangled somewhere
between the letters of this post and the wanderings of my heart.
I can get lost there...
xx. Amy Jane
sometimes i think that if we both wrote a book, you could start at the beginning and i could write the ending and we could meet in the middle and the whole thing would STILL make sense because we write the same things about hearts falling apart and being put back together with simple hello's, and of friends who we love with our whole hearts and hurt long after the good-byes. how our whole worlds seem to be built up by a few beautiful souls, and can be torn down with a word - or worse yet silences. and of dreams and nostalgia and the beauty of friendship and most of all, missing people.
ReplyDeleteyes, I see how you can get lost with words. *smiles* love you lots, dear friend. xx