lionhearted

I think we all have that one person or one memory that we come back to in the moments when all is silent, and the haze of who we want to be and who we are falls across our path. The moments when we don't know where we are going, but the steadfast assurance that this is where we are supposed to be calms our restless heart. Sometimes it takes moments that feel like eternity,
        while tears that burn,
                   leave their mark on our cheeks,
                                    and that's okay, because we are on our way home.
And it doesn't matter where you go, or whether you are running away or running to arrive, when we close our eyes the memories that pound through every vein are the essence of who we are. And I think that is how it was supposed to be, the people in our lives drawing us to greater strengths and showing us that beneath the wounds we are still worth being loved. I remember wishing that I was not so skillful in pretending that goodbyes were something that I was good at, but through the fog of it all, I realized that some people were meant to walk away. Why? I don't know, maybe I will never know, but now the laughter that has echoed through this house seems so alive. The memory of it keeps me awake at night and maybe this is the reason, maybe I had to understand how much true friends are worth and how much pain a person can inflict. Maybe someone had to walk away, so I would not do it to someone else. But the haze is beginning to clear, the smoke is settling and there is just a thin layer of ashes on the ground. Now when I close my eyes I see their faces, smiling, sometimes crying, but always real. I can hear the words and remember the way my stomach ached from laughing until tears came.
                  The songs,
                            the dances {to music that was too loud but we sang along anyway},
                                      the evening meals around the dinner table,
                                                  the late night conversations,
                                        and the summer days that I wish could last forever.
My memory that I always come back to is the laughter that roams the spaces in my heart, and the feeling of it is imprinted on my mind forever, like the way you never forget the lyrics to your favorite song.

 hugs, and thank you guys for being the best || Amy Jane