we are the pages.

 

I realized that we are not only a blank page but an entire book, and that we are the pages that remain blank when you spend hours staring at the paper unable to write what your heart expresses and yet having so much to say. We are the pages that get scribbled on and torn, and soon we find that some things can never be erased, only lived with. We are the pages that have drawings on them and laughter imprinted in every line, while others have tear stains marking the time and place when things could not change fast enough and yet everything was changing too quickly. We are the pages that are shining with the summer sun and others that are filled with the softness of a spring rain; we are filled with laughter and joy, sorrow and heartache. And today's page has been filled with memories and doings, words and moments in time. Yet tomorrow, and the day after that, and the next month, and the next year are completely empty except for the small writing at the bottom of each page that says: you are Mine. 

 and that's what I keep forgetting.

 I am His.

And so for the coming fall and winter, I have a plan: I will love more and worry less. I will live a simpler life and stay away from the things that distract me from a life surrounded by nature and doing the things I need/want to do. I will spend more time with my Beloved and tell all my ridiculous excuses to take a long swim in the lake; furthermore, I will talk to Him about the little things, the inconsequential nothings that are my life. I will take a step back and breathe. I will laugh more and spend more time smiling than crying, because although tears are precious, tears can be selfish. I will enjoy life and throw fear to the wind as I embrace bravery and seek courage. I will stand in the middle of the street, with my hair down, and I'll lift my hands and close my eyes, and say a prayer right then and there and just feel His presence. I will play the guitar and piano more and soak myself in the therapy of music. I will train hard and be more careful about my diet so I'll be in good shape for the race. I will encourage, not tear down. I will be helpful instead of selfish. I will spend less time writing if it means I get to spend more time with those I love, and I will never take another minute for granted. And I will do all of this through His strength, because goodness gracious, I am one weakling.

  okay, I'm done now.  

xx. Amy Jane